It’s Time To Stop Playing Their Game And Start Making Your Own Rules

Every single day and in every single situation, we find ourselves in, we are expected to “Play The Game.” You know exactly what I mean, right? We dress for the meeting. We say what the person were speaking to wants to hear. We buy the car that “looks good too.” We behave in a certain way because, we’ll because that’s how you’re supposed to behave!” Don’t! It’s time to stop playing their game and start making your own rules!


Oh, and before you say it, YES YOU CAN!!! There are many, many things in our lives that we can and should change because it will make us happier, freer and more aware. Why haven’t we done that? Lots of reasons…


What would others say?

I’m not sure how to do that.

Too hard.

Too expensive.

Don’t have the time.

Don’t want to. (Well, I do do but I can’t.)

I’m too old for that.

I’m too young for that.

How would I even get started?

I will but not today. I’ll do that soon.

Do many of those sound familiar?


In recent days we’ve seen a “real-time” example of not playing the game when Prince Harry and Meagan defied the Queen and issued a statement saying they intended to “step away” from the Royal family. It also provides a “real-time” example of how others will try and force your hand! As of this writing the Royal family says they are exploring a workable solution. What?!? Here’s a workable solution for you, let them live their lives and do their best to make the world a better place!


How many times do we hear people say, or say ourselves, “How did we get into this mess?” Well one of the big answers is because we’re so caught up in playing the game, that we forget this isn’t a game we’re playing. It’s not a game when we deal with our kids or our spouse. It’s not a game when we deal with our customers or boss, it’s not a game when we deal with our friends. It’s not a game when companies put profit over the workers and customers. It’s not a game when politicians put Party over Country. It’s not a game when the President puts politics over people. It’s not a game when people follow hate and bigotry. It’s not a game when people turn their backs on what’s right for what is convenient. SO STOP PLAYING THEIR GAME AND START MAKING YOUR OWN RULES!!!


We all must start asking ourselves what right and what just, what’s kind and what’s loving in every decision that we make. We all must start caring about more than us. It’s time for us to stop wishing you could help or make a difference and start actually helping and making a difference.

It’s time for us to stop playing their game and start making our own rules!









When Was The Last Time You BURST Into Joy?!?

When was the last time you BURST INTO JOY? I mean, we burst into tears, we find ourselves bursting in a fit of rage or anger but does it go the other way? Is it possible to burst into a fit of joy? Is it possible to burst into a fit of happiness or gratitude?

You bet it is!!!


Here’s the thing, WE DO IT ALL THE TIME!  We get so focused on the negative that we fail to see the positive. That is a choice that we make. That means it’s also a choice that we can change.


I’m not about to burst into a chorus of the Hallelujah Chorus here, but the time has come that we need to rejoice at our bursts of joy and happiness and blessings and gratitude and kindness and hope and peace and on and on and on…

(Note the word “need” in this thought! I could have used “should” or “ought to” but that’s inaccurate! “THE TIME HAS COME THAT WE NEED TO REJOICE AT OUR BURSTS OF JOY AND HAPPINESS AND BLESSINGS AND GRATITUDE AND KINDNESS AND HOPE AND PEACE AND ON AND ON AND ON…”


It’s time you both realize that it’s OK to feel good, even ridiculously good sometimes and it’s OK to rejoice in it too!  Once you start toning this, you’ll find that you are much more willing to share those wonderful positive feelings with others. You’ll begin to leave behind joy and happiness and love even when you have no idea you’re doing it. You’ll also begin to feel yourself bursting into all of those positive feelings even during those times when in the past, you never would have thought that possible.


Find yourself smiling unexpectedly. Find yourself wishing that person who in the past would have infuriated you, a good day…and meaning it. Find yourself in the midst of a challenging situation and knowing that no matter what, you’re going to be fine. Find yourself REALIZING when you BURST INTO HAPPINESS AND JOY! Find yourself asking yourself as the night winds down about the times WHEN you burst into happiness instead of IF it happened. Most importantly, find yourself bursting into joy about being the kind of human being that you were put on this earth to be.






Are You “Happy” Or Are You Happy?





Many years ago after a long few days of work, I found myself sitting down for a drink across the table from a “A” list actress that I had been working with. (Not as an actor but in a different capacity.) As we talked about past events and future projects and hopes, I asked her a simple question. “Are you happy?” I mean, she had money, fame, was recently married and producers were knocking down her door. I remember that she started to answer quickly and then stopped for what seemed like a very long time. Finally, she put her fingers up to form air quotes as she said, “I am ‘happy’ but I don’t think I’m happy.” We talked about that in depth for quite a while. Even now as I see her on TV or on the big screen, I both wonder and hope that she was able to take the quotation marks away and is now … happy …


I bring this up because this time of the year especially, I ask myself that question often. We all have times in our life that are filled with joy and happiness just as there are also those times when it’s the complete opposite. So I keep asking, on the whole, am I “happy” or am I happy?


How do you know the answer to that question? I mean, it’s not how much “stuff” you have or how many likes you get on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. It’s not “Well I SHOULD be happy, right?” It’s not even achieving all the hopes and dreams that you set forth in the past. Who would have ever thought that such a seemingly simple question would turn out to be so hard to answer honestly?



The answer has nothing to do with our achievements in life or lack there of. Some of the times that were the most rocky in my life, were also the times when it turns out, I was pretty darn happy. Looking back, there have been plenty of times when I was scared or in pain or wasn’t in the environment I wanted to be in at the time but I also found my way to happiness.


The true answer appears in that flash of an instant when you ask yourself the question. Way before you have time to think about it or rationalize it, way before guilt or greed or ego ever get involved. In that one single instant, the answer is either a yes or no. If there is a “…well…” or a “…yeah but…” then the answer is no.



Happiness never leaves us! I’ll say that again… Happiness never leaves us, other things can cloud it, but happiness is always there. If there is a lesson to be learned, I guess it’s that we can plan and plot and design all of the things we want or that we believe will make us happy, but the truth is, they won’t. We are the only thing that can or will ever make us happy!  In every situation, every decision we face, it’s up to us to not just find happiness but to allow happiness to take control of. Looking inward is the only way we can do that! There are plenty of times when people, places or things awaken our happiness and allow us to make that journey within us. First, we need to allow ourselves to find happiness, to recognize and appreciate it. We must be grateful for whatever shimmers of happiness we might have, instead of lamenting the things we imagine that we’ve lost or are frustrated about. We must open ourselves up to the possibility that while we are living “inside the frame,” we can’t see the whole picture, but we are still part of the whole story!


I strive to live my life not by the definitions others put on it. I now strive to look at happiness as a constant in my life. For me, it’s a matter of how I view and interpret the things that I’ve been given. There are times when I am more happy than I am right now, there are also times when I am less happy. The difference in my life now, is that that no matter what, I am still happy! Sadness, frustration and anger don’t mean there’s no happiness. They mean that for the moment, those things have “stepped in front” of happiness and are over shadowing it. When that happens, we might focus more on them, but that doesn’t mean happiness left us!


On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you right now? When times are tough or you’re facing a setback, talk to yourself about it. For instance, out loud, have a conversation with yourself such as…“Man, I’m not very happy this morning am I? I’m only at about a 3 today, I wonder why?” Sound silly? Well by talking about it, you’re also working out the problem. Remember, being “not very happy” is a whole lot better that not being happy at all! Just the fact that you’re realizing that fact in the darkest of times, means YOU STILL HAVE HAPPINESS INSIDE OF YOU.


My wish for you is not happiness, but that you find your happiness, hold onto your happiness, remember your happiness so that when it’s calling you, you’ll remember how to make your way back to it! As for me, I have my good days and my not as good days, and I’m pretty happy about that.