LET ME MAKE THE RULES!!!
Most of us watch games of various sports and because of that, most of us also have, shall we say, a difference of opinion with the officials and rules from time to time. I have a guaranteed solution to all of our problems…
LET ME MAKE THE RULES!!!!!
And here they are…
UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER (#USWNT)
- P A Y T H E M ! ! ! ! ! !
(OK, now that we’ve solved that one!)
FOOTBALL
College
(Realizing that I’m going to sound like an old man screaming at the neighborhood kids to STAY OFF MY LAWN…..Turnover Chains, White Boards, Crowns, Championship Belts, Shoulder Pads, Capes, Passports, Walking Sticks, Telegrams, “Bat Signals” or whatever else is being used, are stupid! I BAN THEM ALL!!! I don’t care if it’s within my powers, I DO IT ANYWAY JUST ON PRINCIPLE!!!)(Additional Related Thought: WIN THE GAME! JUST WIN THE GAME! Once you’ve achieved that, grandstand, pose, boast and/or put on all of the above mentioned regalia you want!)
- Find an average 3rd grader. Explain to that 3rd grader what a catch is. If that 3rd grader understands it, then that is what a catch is. If that 3rd grader can’t understand it…repeat the cycle until they do!
- Since the colleges make HUGE money from the games, then they will be financially responsible for all collegiate athletes ongoing injuries that were suffered in practice, games or in the course of their service, including after the athletes leave college!) (If they go onto the pros, responsibility shifts to the pro team)
- If a team is getting beat by more than 25 points, the game is stopped! Mercy Rule!!! (Let’s call this the “Scheduling the “Little Sisters of the Poor” rule!)
- Pay the players! Quit being greedy!
- Put impact sensors in every players helmet to monitor the severity and the amount of hits a player is taking both in practice and during the game! Take them out when they reach a certain limit!
- If a player is called for a 15 yard penalty, they must go out for a play.
- If a player is called for a major penalty and causes an injury an opposing player, they will not play until that player recovers. That might be a play or the rest of the year depending on the severity of the injury.
- Adopt the NFL rules. I mean your the “Triple A” of football so the rules might as well be the same! (NCAA take time away from your mismanagement and NFL come out of your money counting room to get together to come up with a melding of the rules. Once done, done!)
- If a player points at another player to get a call or begs an official they will receive a 15 yard penalty and leave the field for one play! (That should take care of the grandstanding that happens in every single game!)
- Mascots may not be creepy!
(If you’re unsure check with me)
- If there are offsetting penalties the greater of the two is chosen.
- If there are multiple penalties on a team, THEY ARE ALL enacted!
- Find an average 3rd grader. Explain to that 3rd grader what a catch is. If that 3rd grader understands it, then that is what a catch is. If that 3rd grader can’t understand it…repeat the cycle until they do!
- The sideline is for players, coaches, doctors team personnel and working media. The sideline is not for actors, former players, donors, etc…
- The National Championship will be comprised of an 8 team tournament. The uproar about them missing class is ridiculous! They make it to class or not. Provide them with tutors that travel with them team.
NFL
- Pay less attention to whether the shirt is tucked in or are the socks at a certain height and more attention to the safety of the players and former players.
- Just as the tobacco industry had to do, the NFL must produce Public Service Commercials for television and streaming about the known causes and effects of CTE!
- Adopt the college Targeting Rule! If a player uses their head as a weapon or there is a significant blow to the neck or head, they’re out of the game!
- If coaches want to wear a suit or sport coat on the sideline they can as long as it doesn’t promote a cause or product. (It’s ludicrous that the NFL severely fines coaches for doing this, simply because they want to promote the NFL line of clothing.)
- Each home game, playoff game and the Super Bowl will feature an approved charity! On field, promotions, players cleats, special jerseys, etc… Spread the exposure and the money around for God Sake!!!
- The Commissioner works for the league not the owners, SO… that means that when it comes to hiring or firing a Commissioner, each owner gets a vote as does each Players Rep from each team and all are included in league decisions!
- If a player points at another player to get a call (currently happens on every offsides or pass interference) or begs an official, they will receive a 15 yard penalty and leave the field for one play! (That should take care of the grandstanding that happens in every single game!)
- NFL Officials on the field, sidelines and review booth will all be FULL TIME EMPLOYEES OF THE NFL!!!
- Tickets to an NFL game will be made affordable so a family of four might be able to go see the game, get some food and maybe even buy a jersey without needing to be a Hedge fund manager!
- Mascots may not be creepy!
(If you’re unsure check with me)
- If a player fails a drug test they are out for 8 weeks (1/2 the season.) If that player fails another drug test while in the league, they are banned for 2 years. 3rd time, gone for good!
- Find an average 3rd grader. Explain to that 3rd grader what a catch is. If that 3rd grader understands it, then that is what a catch is. If that 3rd grader can’t understand it…repeat the cycle until they do!
Alright, that’s enough for now. I’ve got about a hundred more of these and I still haven’t gotten to the NHL, NBA, BOXING,MMA and of course…..COMPETITIVE EATING!
Peace
…..Gregg
