We all want friends and admirers, right? I guess the question is, as we’re busily putting our puzzle pieces together for all to see, what are we willing to do to get these friends and more? Lie? Steal? Cheat? Misinform? As much as we hate to admit it, going through the various stages of life, the answer is more than likely yes.
As young kids we might have tried to stretched the truth in order to get a friend or to fit in with a particular group. Maybe we did it to catch the eye of somebody we wanted to go out with. Later, maybe a truth or two (or three) was breached in order to get that job we wanted. Right now in the United States Congress an elected Congressman, George Santos seems to have lied and misinformed (at the very least) in order to get that post.
The hope is that in time, most of us will grow out of this kind of behavior. That’s the hope but sadly, not the reality. Almost all of us hide bits and pieces of ourselves in the dark and sometimes deep caves within us. Look, there will always be things that we want kept private and that is completely acceptable. What I’m talking about is purposely and blatantly putting up a facade for others to see that isn’t the truth. We have different reasons for doing this. Most of those reasons we end up justifying or even outright making up an alternate reality.
In the end, we end up showing a false self to our friends, family, coworkers and even ourselves. Why is that so bad? Well, let’s say we end up making a friend after showing them our false self, a good friend. It turns out that your new friend isn’t really your new friend at all. They have become friends with a made up caricature that you’ve conjured up. In other words, they’re not really your friend, your lover, etc… they’re involved with someone else. They’re involved with a substitute you that you fooled them with.
What’s the antidote for all of this? It’s pretty simple. Tell me who you are. Tell me who you really are. Don’t worry, you can still hold some things close, but tell me who the essence of you is. There’s an old saying that talks about how wonderful it would be if we could just see a person’s soul instead of a face when we looked at them. I guess that’s what I’m asking both myself and you to do. As you’re putting your puzzle pieces together, show me your soul and let the two of us decide how we should go forth instead of hiding who you really are. Tell me, show me who you are.
We need to pay more attention. We need to be more aware of ourselves and of those around us. Do we care who we surround ourselves with? Do we care if the picture we project to others is accurate or contrived? The answers to these questions must be answered individually. Some of us will say no, but some of us will say yes. That’s what makes this so important.
As I was writing this I noticed all of your email addresses that allows me to send you my blogs and podcasts on Substack. I realized that there we a number of emails that I couldn’t put a name to. So, here’s what I asking you to do…
PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS PIECE BY JUST LEAVING YOUR NAME. FIRST NAME IS GREAT BUT BOTH WOULD BE NICE TOO. I appreciate your time and efforts in advance and thanks for helping me to put a face with an email. Maybe we can consider this another small but important step towards sharing who we are with each other.