Is this the crossroads where we now find ourselves as human beings and as a society?   I fully support your right to protest! (As long as I agree with it) As far back as the two of us can probably remember, there have always been protests. I also remember that there have always been those who agreed with them and those who disagreed. Now however, the sparks that ignite division seem so much more intense. There are those who are protesting AGAINST their schools, Flag burning, Governments, a war, a social injustice, someone’s death, a Confederate Monument and sadly many more. There are also those protesting FOR their schools, Flag burning, Governments, a war, a social injustice, a Confederate Monument, etc. No matter your side on these issues, it is often easy to overlook, confuse, misinterpret or even turn a blind eye to the real reasons or focus of those protesting on the opposite side. We might not like how they’re going about it or what they have to say, where they’re saying it etc. sometimes we allow anger to think for us. Passion can sometimes be a double edged sword and it seldom shows that more clearly than during a protest. Just as it’s their right to protest (within certain bounds of safety etc.) it’s our right to agree with them or not and voice our own opinions. (Again, within certain bounds.)  For instance, anytime a matter of patriotism or military service arises, quite often I’m conflicted depending on my opinion of the situation. I think of myself as an incredibly patriotic man! I was handed my father’s flag at his funeral, I can’t count the number of men and women who are my friends who have been, or are in service to their country, in one way or another. I’m talking about the Military, Teachers, Doctors, Fire Fighters, Nurses, Police Officers and those who can never tell us their jobs. (But I’m so glad they are doing it!) Sadly, I’m also hard pressed to list those who have lost their lives while fighting for our absolute right to protest. I know from our conversations that they didn’t agree with some of those things. Sometimes seeing the protests made them absolutely livid and I felt the same way! But, instead of allowing my ego to rule the day and close my mind, I want to use my passion to explain how I feel and why, instead of pointing a finger, chastising and insulting someone else who I disagree with. Let’s revisit my initial thought… I fully support your right to protest! (As long as I agree with it) If this is where you’re at, where we as a society is at, then it’s both sad and dangerous. I think that if we consider it though, this isn’t where we’re at. Sure, there are some things that people might be for that almost anyone can find themselves on the other side of. (ISIS, Racism, Human Trafficking or bigotry to name […]

There is a phenomenon sweeping the country and it’s not good. I call it the “YEA, BUT…” Phenomenon. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, I truly hope that you haven’t participated in it though. It seems that with every comment, decision or event that we don’t agree with, now it’s OK to simply say “Yea, but…” and deflect the attention somewhere else. At work if you made a mistake, out comes the “Yea, but I saw Charlie do the same thing yesterday” line. If Trump does or says something bad, out comes the “Yea, but Obama and Hillary” lines and the other examples can go on and on. Gone are the days it seems where we actually take responsibility for our mistakes. Gone are the days it seems where those sports stars or politicians that we admire or respect make mistakes or do or say something stupid and we stand up and actually disagree with them. Gone are the days it seems where we can actually disagree with someone’s position without seeing them as an adversary. Gone are the days it seems where instead of saying “Yea, but…,” we put some thought and action into correcting the situation. Gone are the days….or are they!?! What can we do to begin to do the right things again? Well, let’s start right there… •START DOING THE RIGHT THINGS AGAIN! They might not be the convenient things or the easy things, but deep down you know what’s right and wrong. Start listening again. •When you hear yourself start to tear down someone else or something else, STOP! Stop yourself in mid sentence if you need to and instead of tearing someone else down, explain why your position is right. Explain the value of your side without tearing down the other. (My Dad always told me that if I couldn’t do this, then I probably didn’t have a very good point.) •Take care of the “YEA” before you even think about the “BUT.” In other words, admit that there is a problem and find a way to make it better. What can be done? What can YOU do? After you’ve made it though this stage, you’ll generally find that there is no need to blame others or shift the focus anymore. •RESPECT!!! It seems like we’re forgetting this very, very important piece of the puzzle. It’s hard to lie, cheat, accuse or deflect if you remember to respect, first! •If you hear yourself hurling insults or calling someone names, then your no doing what you should be. Stop. Apologize. Then explain your position and listen to theirs. •With every decision, remember these very simple ingredients… Be Kind… Do The Right Thing… Ask How You Would Feel If You Were On The Other Side… I understand that it’s frustrating when we’re doing the right things but others around us aren’t. Keep in mind that you can only control you. You are responsible for what you put out into the universe and can’t control what others […]

In your life, “There Comes a Time” when things change from simply hoping to do something or wanting to do something, to realizing that that you need to do it. You MUST do it. I started thinking about some of these things after the tragedy that happened in Charlottesville when white supremacists clashed with those protesting against them with many hurt along with three people dying. Here are some of those “There Comes a Time” moments that came to me and I hope others will have. “There Comes a Time” …When we realize that Peace, Kindness and doing the right thing are tools we should use with every decision we make. …When we realize that the grudges, anger and sometimes hate that we carry with us, is only hurting us and we need to let it go and reach out again. …When love can carry us though so many things that we never thought we could make it through. …When so many times, “how” things have happened isn’t nearly as important as that they did happen. …When we don’t need to understand everything and it is OK to utter the phrase “I don’t know.” …When we believe “down to our soul, that bullying of any kind is UNACCEPTABLE. …That the things our soul whispers to us, are much more important than the things others are shouting at us. …That giving or receiving just one small gift, smile, hug, compliment, etc… can make the kind of difference in someone’s life that is life changing. …That hopefully, pessimism, hate and jealousy will eventually lead us to optimism, love and a sincere “wanting” to help. …When we learn that we don’t need to be perfect. Instead, all we can do is to do our best. …When it dawns on us just how good it feels to feel good. …That we can never understand another person 100%. Our job is to better understand ourselves and our perception of them. …That it is just as important to allow ourselves to cry as it is to laugh. …That words matter. …That the most important time in our lives will always be right now, because that’s the point that everything happens. …When we both understand and begin to act on the difference between understanding the definition of empathy and actually allowing it to become part of our character. …When what we have, just doesn’t matter anymore. …When we decide we must reach out and help someone, even if it might inconvenience us a bit. …When you’re happier that you catch yourself smiling for “no reason at all,” than figuring out why. …When those that espouse hate and bigotry not only bother you, but drive you to stand up for what’s right. …When opening your mouth isn’t nearly as important as opening your mind and listening. …When you realize it’s OK to stop and appreciate. …When, as you live your life, you capitalize the word GRATITUDE. …When you not only appreciate those around you, but you take the VERY […]