I seldom write my blogs within a few days of each other.
I seldom reveal deep personal information about my life.
I almost always say what others do we can’t control and we shouldn’t let that bother us.
All of that is changing for this One Minute Blog!
I’ve been “powering through” some physical challenges recently. It’s been tough and very slow but the bottom line is that I’ve been “powering through it!” After a great day yesterday with loved ones, I woke up this morning feeling great! Physically I felt better than the day before and mentally and spiritually I felt better and more powerful than I have in a long, long time thanks to an amazing infusion of love from my son and daughter who visited yesterday. That was all about to change.
I had breakfast at McDonalds and decided to walk to a nearby bus stop instead of calling an Uber. As I was almost completely through a full parking lot, I was just a few feet from a full line of cars in line the their drive-thru meals. I stepped up onto a slightly elevated walkway and my foot caught the edge. I went down in the parking lot like Muhammad Ali had just delivered a perfect shot! I lay there in the parking lot rolling around for a few minutes because the pain. I knew I hit my knee and leg, by back, shoulder, elbow and most vividly, I felt a sharp pain when my ribs hit the side of the walkway and felt not only the pain but felt the pop. Most importantly, I also knew instantly I did not hit my head and that I rolled with the impact as I had been taught as a young man.
I was thinking clearly but knew that I needed to regroup and see how bad I might be injured. As I rolled around I saw the sky, the tree limbs above, I could hear the cars and the drive-thru speaker going off. I vividly remember looking back and to the left for the help I knew was on the way as I was still rolling and moaning. I remember it because the 2 people in one of the cars in the full drive-thru line, were pointing at me and laughing! There was no doubt because the passenger kept pointing as he was almost hysterically laughing! It was almost surreal. I did a quick reality check by asking myself some questions and answering them out loud in between loud moans. There was no mistake. There was a full parking lot and a full line of cars and no one even asked if I was ok. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING PEOPLE!?!
I managed to roll out of the parking lot and onto the walkway where I struggled to sit up after a few more minutes. Again I did another quick self check. While I knew that I could physically somehow get up, I was much more concerned about my mental and spiritual injuries. (More on that in a moment.) I struggled to find a base as I had been taught. Again, I assessed my physical injuries. Can I stand up? Yes. Do it then!
I gathered all of the physical focus I could muster and with each small and shaky step got closer and closer to that bus stop where I would ride home and walk carefully into my house. The grand dichotomy was that with every feeble step I took physically, I was fueled by a fire and rage mentally and spiritually that I had not felt for years. It scared me.
The rest of the physical toll is yet to be told, but I don’t think I’m dangerously or seriously injured. Injured yes, seriously I don’t think so, but I know I’m walking a fine line and won’t hesitate to head to get medical help if I think I need it. The rest of this blog will finish with my ongoing mental and spiritual struggles.
I’m having trouble letting go. Here are the facts…
•I know there were at least a few people who saw my fall and my struggling.
•I also know not one of them stopped to yell “Hey, are you OK?” Not one of them rolled their window down to check on me. Not one of them stopped pointing and laughing at the old, disabled guy rything in pain to show any remnant of humanity. Not One!
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING PEOPLE!?!
Have we really come this far? Are we so self absorbed and egomaniacal that in the United States of America we’re too busy to even feign concern for someone else, much less be amused by it?
Oh don’t worry, I’m not letting myself off the hook here either! I NEED TO BE BETTER! I need to let it go. I need to focus on me and not them. I need to remember that positive energy brings positive energy and healing and negative energy brings exactly the opposite! I need to be better than I was, than I am right now!
I also need to realize that I’m human. We all get mad and we all feel things that we wish we wouldn’t be feeling. THAT’S WHY I’M WRITING THIS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE ONE MINUTE BLOG (OK, we’re wayyyy past one minute, sorry.) We all will have times, hours, days and longer where we’re not exactly who we want to be. Here’s the important part, THAT IS OK! the mere fact that you know what’s happening, that you want to get better, that you’re feeling strong feelings you’re not comfortable with and even stronger feelings that you need to change them, is the key.
I’ve got lots of work to do and I’m doing my best to do it.
To answer my question from earlier…
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING PEOPLE!?!
I don’t know! That’s nothing that I would do. That’s nothing anyone I know would do. That’s nothing that I believe any of you would do. The facts are though that people did it. Not just one person or a couple of people or a few people but several people stood by and did nothing, zippo, zero! Several people saw somebody else’s problem. Some people saw a comedy skit playing out in front of them because they were too self absorbed to be anything resembling a caring, loving or kind human being.
What do we do? Strive to be better. Strive to be kind and loving and grateful and empathic. Strive to be the kind of human being that you would hope our maker hoped we would be. I hear what you might be thinking…”Yeah, but all those people didn’t help you and you might have been seriously hurt!” Yep! And that is exactly why we need to be better. IT’S WHY I MUST BE BETTER!!!
There’s many, many more people just like them who are exactly the same. At some point in their futures something really bad or really scary is going to happen to them, to their kids, the parents, their spouses or partners, their friends, neighbors or a complete stranger. When that time comes, THE WORLD IS GOING TO NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO HELP THEM BECAUSE THEY WON’T! You deserve to be better than they showed today, so do I. Even during those times when when we don’t even know we’re looking deep within us to see who we are, we all deserve to see the person who will help. Let’s hope and pray that they will be that person tomorrow. If they’re not, I’m gonna do my best to have their backs. I hope you’ll join me.
PS…As I said earlier, I think I’m OK physically. I am still on guard and monitoring and continue to assess myself just as I did as I fell. Mentally and Spiritually I am who I am and doing my best to get better. On all fronts, I could use your thoughts, prayers and as much Positive Energy as you know how to send! Only Positive Energy for me and for all of those who decided not to act and all of the others like them. They need your help much worse than I do! I’m indebted to you.