I spent some time last night with a friend who was not happy at all with their life. They talked for some time about all the things they needed to stop in order for their life to get better. They needed to stop smoking, stop spending too much money, stop eating too much, stop being lonely, stop feeling sorry for themselves, etc… After a while they asked me what I thought. I thought about what I just heard and said I thought they were 180° wrong. As I was listening to them I heard so many of the same things that come out of my mouth from time to time. It was eye opening for me. Here’s my advice for them…
We need to start thinking about the things we want to START in our lives instead of only focusing on what we want to stop. Look, it’s going to work a lot better if you focus on “starting your life” than if you only focus on “stopping your life.”
Here’s that list that they rattled off earlier in the conversation…
(START adding the things into your life that will help you be more healthy, including asking the question why! Pay attention to the your honest answers.)
Stop spending too much money…..
(START thinking about what you really want, including some fun stuff for you too, and make a budget to get there.)
Stop eating too much…..
(START keeping a food diary and use a highlighter to highlight the good things you eat, not the bad. Allow yourself to try some new things. It’s ok not to like some but it’s also ok to like some!)
Stop being lonely
(START looking at your life and identify anyone you might like to spend time with, then let them know you’d like to spend some time with them and don’t run away when they say yes.)
Stop feeling sorry for themselves…..
(START keeping a daily list of the things they’re happy about, grateful for, thankful for.)
Hope it helps them.
Hope it helps me.
Really hope it helps you too.