“Thoughts and Prayers” On it’s own merits, the term “Thoughts and Prayers” is a wonderful thing to say. Lets think about what it says for a moment. It says that you will be sending your “Thoughts” to the other person as a way to help relieve the burdens and in hopes life gets better and easier for them. It also says that you’re “Prayers“ include them as you ask a higher power to intercede in their life to make it easier. Putting the two together in other words, means you’ll be sending as much positive energy as you know how to, in hopes their life will improve. So, the phrase “Thoughts and Prayers” is an incredibly powerful one, IF USED CORRECTLY.” Having said that then, why are so many upset about people using it? From the media to politicians to entertainment figures to those huddled around the “water cooler,” many are “sick and tired” of hearing that term! (To be more precise, I don’t think they’re “sick and tired” of the term, it’s that they believe it’s being used as an excuse or diversion.) To use only the term “Thoughts and Prayers” when you have the ability to add action to fix or make the problem better is what angers so many people. It angers me, to be honest! This happens all the time in our day to day lives, when we say things and then skate away because it’s just easier that way. But, with the recent massacre in Las Vegas, I’ve heard this phrase over and over and over and over again by people who have had in the past, and currently do have the opportunity (and some would say obligation) to attach action to make it harder for this to happen again and don’t! Instead, they skate away by simply throwing out the phrase “Thoughts and Prayers.” The time has come for all of us to demand action, especially in this area, no matter our political party, thoughts on gun ownership, etc. Look, I believe in gun rights for people. I don’t want to take our right to hunt or protect ourself away. My personal views stop however at how we can allow one man to kill 59 and injure close to 600 people within 15 minutes or how you can buy a kit to turn weapons into automatics or allow silencers, to name just a couple.   Now is the time to examine what out “Thoughts and Prayers” really mean. Now is the time when we need to explain how we feel ESPECIALLY to those who disagree with. Now is the time to LISTEN to those we disagree with. Now is the time for our political leaders to STOP paying more attention to lobbyists than the American people. Now is the time for insincerity to stop and heartfelt sincerity to take hold. Now is the time to understand that sometimes what you want isn’t the right thing, sometimes it also is. Now is the time we […]

Is this the crossroads where we now find ourselves as human beings and as a society?   I fully support your right to protest! (As long as I agree with it) As far back as the two of us can probably remember, there have always been protests. I also remember that there have always been those who agreed with them and those who disagreed. Now however, the sparks that ignite division seem so much more intense. There are those who are protesting AGAINST their schools, Flag burning, Governments, a war, a social injustice, someone’s death, a Confederate Monument and sadly many more. There are also those protesting FOR their schools, Flag burning, Governments, a war, a social injustice, a Confederate Monument, etc. No matter your side on these issues, it is often easy to overlook, confuse, misinterpret or even turn a blind eye to the real reasons or focus of those protesting on the opposite side. We might not like how they’re going about it or what they have to say, where they’re saying it etc. sometimes we allow anger to think for us. Passion can sometimes be a double edged sword and it seldom shows that more clearly than during a protest. Just as it’s their right to protest (within certain bounds of safety etc.) it’s our right to agree with them or not and voice our own opinions. (Again, within certain bounds.)  For instance, anytime a matter of patriotism or military service arises, quite often I’m conflicted depending on my opinion of the situation. I think of myself as an incredibly patriotic man! I was handed my father’s flag at his funeral, I can’t count the number of men and women who are my friends who have been, or are in service to their country, in one way or another. I’m talking about the Military, Teachers, Doctors, Fire Fighters, Nurses, Police Officers and those who can never tell us their jobs. (But I’m so glad they are doing it!) Sadly, I’m also hard pressed to list those who have lost their lives while fighting for our absolute right to protest. I know from our conversations that they didn’t agree with some of those things. Sometimes seeing the protests made them absolutely livid and I felt the same way! But, instead of allowing my ego to rule the day and close my mind, I want to use my passion to explain how I feel and why, instead of pointing a finger, chastising and insulting someone else who I disagree with. Let’s revisit my initial thought… I fully support your right to protest! (As long as I agree with it) If this is where you’re at, where we as a society is at, then it’s both sad and dangerous. I think that if we consider it though, this isn’t where we’re at. Sure, there are some things that people might be for that almost anyone can find themselves on the other side of. (ISIS, Racism, Human Trafficking or bigotry to name […]

There is a phenomenon sweeping the country and it’s not good. I call it the “YEA, BUT…” Phenomenon. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, I truly hope that you haven’t participated in it though. It seems that with every comment, decision or event that we don’t agree with, now it’s OK to simply say “Yea, but…” and deflect the attention somewhere else. At work if you made a mistake, out comes the “Yea, but I saw Charlie do the same thing yesterday” line. If Trump does or says something bad, out comes the “Yea, but Obama and Hillary” lines and the other examples can go on and on. Gone are the days it seems where we actually take responsibility for our mistakes. Gone are the days it seems where those sports stars or politicians that we admire or respect make mistakes or do or say something stupid and we stand up and actually disagree with them. Gone are the days it seems where we can actually disagree with someone’s position without seeing them as an adversary. Gone are the days it seems where instead of saying “Yea, but…,” we put some thought and action into correcting the situation. Gone are the days….or are they!?! What can we do to begin to do the right things again? Well, let’s start right there… •START DOING THE RIGHT THINGS AGAIN! They might not be the convenient things or the easy things, but deep down you know what’s right and wrong. Start listening again. •When you hear yourself start to tear down someone else or something else, STOP! Stop yourself in mid sentence if you need to and instead of tearing someone else down, explain why your position is right. Explain the value of your side without tearing down the other. (My Dad always told me that if I couldn’t do this, then I probably didn’t have a very good point.) •Take care of the “YEA” before you even think about the “BUT.” In other words, admit that there is a problem and find a way to make it better. What can be done? What can YOU do? After you’ve made it though this stage, you’ll generally find that there is no need to blame others or shift the focus anymore. •RESPECT!!! It seems like we’re forgetting this very, very important piece of the puzzle. It’s hard to lie, cheat, accuse or deflect if you remember to respect, first! •If you hear yourself hurling insults or calling someone names, then your no doing what you should be. Stop. Apologize. Then explain your position and listen to theirs. •With every decision, remember these very simple ingredients… Be Kind… Do The Right Thing… Ask How You Would Feel If You Were On The Other Side… I understand that it’s frustrating when we’re doing the right things but others around us aren’t. Keep in mind that you can only control you. You are responsible for what you put out into the universe and can’t control what others […]