Yearly Archives: 2017

The Empty Chair

During this Holiday season we’ll all hear the cheery songs, see all the cool new presents and probably get invited to a party or two. But, even though the song says this is “The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year,” for many of us it will be a struggle because of “The Empty Chair.” No matter our age, we all know someone who was important to us that is no longer here. Seeing that “Empty Chair” whether it’s actual or remembered can really be tough. The memories come flooding back and the inclination to just withdrawal is so powerful. First, realize that it’s normal to have these feelings, no matter how long your loved one has been gone. Here are some ideas for you that might help… 1. Remember that Grief is Normal. The important thing is to feel your grief and understand it’s part of your life but GRIEF IS NOT YOUR LIFE! 2. You don’t have to Please Everyone. This includes feeling like you must attend all family functions or if showing up at a get together might be too painful, it’s ok not to go. 3. Allow yourself to include them in your celebrations. This means talking about them, laughing about them. There’s no reason to feel guilty about joy. After all, that joy your feeling is made of their powerful energy. If they had a particular tradition, keep it alive in their honor. Bring pictures! Just because they have moved on is no reason not to keep inviting them! 4. Create New Traditions in their Honor. Find a way to honor them with a new tradition, something easy and meaningful. Maybe a gift from them or a new ornament. The options are boundless. 5. Do Something Nice for Someone Else in Their Honor. This might be something that no one else knows about or something everyone knows about. Helping someone else always is a great elixir. Finally, remember that “The Empty Chair” isn’t there to make you sad or depressed. That chair is there so you don’t forget! That chair is there as a reminder of some amazing memories of life and how it is supposed to be lived! I hope your Holiday is filled with love, peace, hope and many, many wonderful memories. Peace Gregg

Do you have time to CONSIDER it? (HINT: YES!!!)

We must, yes must view the world with an open mind and open heart. If we don’t, we’ll wall off not only ourselves off, but future of our children and grandchildren too.   Everyday, we must consider things we’ve never considered before and even more importantly, consider things we have considered before.   Years ago a wise man told me that he never has a bad day anymore because to him, life is just one long day. Just like any of our days…there are high points, low points, things to remember and things to forget and then we go to sleep. He said that when we go to sleep for the final time here…we simply wake up somewhere else doing something else. I guess I remembered this today because of some things that happened in my life recently and thought maybe some events in your life might make this an interesting consideration too. It’s a pretty thought provoking way to view your life…at least it made me think. I thought I’d share it with you.   The next time you hear a friend who’s putting forward an idea you don’t agree with, do yourself a favor and listen to it.     Does it have any merit at all?   Is there anything in it that you might be able to use to make life better?     Consider it.   Consideration opens both the mind and the heart! You are the only one who can make it happen. When you do that, you’re not only growing, but your showing respect for them as well.   Thanks for taking the time to read my One Minute Blog today. Feel free to send me a message if you like and of course, please feel free to think about this idea as much as you like and share it with others to see what they think. PEACE Gregg

Happy Thanksgiving…(or is it?)

(I’m reposting this with the hope we’ll realize that there are many who won’t be “celebrating” the way we imagine. Read on….) HAPPY THANKSGIVING! What a great time of the year. The weather cools while the family gathers around. Each Thanksgiving we marvel at the amount of food on the table in front of us and are grateful for the love that is all around us. So, yes… HAPPY THANKSGIVING!   Or is it? Thanksgiving is supposed to be what I just described but for so many, that isn’t the case. We throw the greeting around without thinking about those we meet and talk to, especially our friends. “HAPPY Thanksgiving! Are you going to have a big get together at your place this year?” The only problem with that is that many won’t be having a Happy Thanksgiving or a get together surrounded by friends and family.   While many of us will be trying to figure out how to fit all the food on the table, many, many others, yes…even some of your friends that you would never imagine, have little or no food. Imagine instead of turkey, looking in a mostly bare refrigerator and deciding between what’s left of the bologna or a can of soup. Sounds like I’m overstating it? I’m not.   While we are surrounded by family, watching TV, talking, arguing and napping…many, many others are alone, shielding themselves from the Happy Thanksgiving greeting and maybe even the phone calls, surrounded by only memories of loved ones who aren’t here anymore, pets who were loyal friends and are now gone, past Thanksgiving memories some good, some not so good. So, what can we do? Well, the first thing is to seriously ask ourselves that very question.   Let’s be honest here, most people might ask the question, but won’t follow through on it. They’re the people who’ll say they “wish they could help” or “isn’t it too bad about…” However, if you’re reading this, my guess is that you’re not one of those people. My guess is that you’re one of the people in the world who really does care. So, here are some suggestions for you. (If you have more ideas how to help, please leave a comment in the section below so others can see it too!)   Reach out to friends who are alone, elderly, disabled, families who are isolated, etc. Just say hello! Tell them that you were thinking of them. Ask them if they’d come over for dinner because it would mean a lot to you. Now keep in mind, some of these people might jump at the chance, but many of them will say no. They might feel inadequate or embarrassed, scared or they might be in pain. If this is the case, don’t push it, tell them how much it would mean to you again and how nice it was to talk with them. A few days later call and try again…   Send a note with a […]