Pain is a subject we all understand because we’ve all encountered it… right? We all think we know what pain is, but the truth is we really can’t know. Pain comes in so many forms and so many different disguises. Then on top of that, pain and pain thresholds are different for every single one of the 7.28 billion people on the planet.
Consider this, if two people cut their hand in the same place and in the exact same way, both people will have a different reaction. One person might just wrap it up and keep going. While the other person might need to lay down and stop their life for a moment because of the pain. The truth is we can’t know the pain of others even if we can see their injury.
Pain is sneaky, though, it appears not only on those injuries we can see, but those we can’t see or sometimes even understand.
Pain can be seen and unseen, it can be physical, mental or spiritual. Pain can sneak up on us or smack us in the face to let us know it is there.
Full Disclosure Here:
I am a pain sufferer. I have a chronic pain condition that has changed my life. Actually, I have more than one. If you saw me sitting at a table or said hello to me, you’d probably never know. I include this because there are MILLIONS of others who suffer this way. Think about it…
PTSD, ARTHRITIS, CHRONIC ANXIETY, LUPUS, MS, WORRY, BACK INJURIES, SCAR TISSUE AND SO MANY MORE! Now, all of these are unseen and maybe unknown by those around the individual, even including their friends and family members.
When we hurt, we want to feel better right? This means we’ll do whatever we can to feel better.
Many withdraw within themselves and the world around them. Many reach out for something, anything to make them feel better. That might include, yoga, meditation or religion. That might also include drug addiction (Prescription or otherwise) alcohol dependency and much more. Trust me, you get to a point where you will do anything to stop the pain.
So, what can we do?
If you are the one dealing with the pain, you need to make sure that you are living your life – you are not living the pain. (This is a lot harder than it sounds.) Some days you’re going to have better results than others, it is a continual battle! We must understand that PAIN IS RIPPING AWAY PART OF YOUR LIFE! This is where we need to stand up, realize this is the case and find other things in life that will take us down a positive path. We must realize and accept that there are certain things that we can’t do anymore. Some we can work towards again, some we never will be able to enjoy again. Find the small positive things you can do right now. Hold onto them and most importantly, APPRECIATE them, NURTURE them and GROW them into a meaningful part of our life. When you are in pain, it is SO easy to drift away, withdraw from others, find yourself feeling angry and cynical and to be honest, just feeling hopeless. This is where you need to be more aware of yourself and your feelings than you have ever been. If you must feel yourself in a different, darker place and find the will to move out of it.
YOU MUST BE WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP!!!
I cannot emphasize this enough…
YOU MUST BE WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP!!!
Find a friend, a mentor, a priest, rabbi, Imam or pastor. Look for a life coach who can help you work through the problems, not just tell you what to do. Convince yourself that asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak…asking for help means that you are stronger than you ever thought you could be!
What about for those who aren’t suffering in this way? Well, let’s start where we left off. Be aware. Look at your friends who you might think are having trouble and more importantly, those who you don’t suspect! (Remember, pain is also unseen!) Look for the signs, listen for the pleas, pay attention to their life. Are there any changes, are they making any decisions that are out of character?
Now comes the big one…
ARE YOU WILLING TO REACH OUT AND OFFER ANY MEANINGFUL HELP?
This is a risk and once you do, you can’t go back. If you offer help, you not only owe it to them but to yourself to follow through with meaningful help. This might be a phone call every occasionally, stopping by with some groceries, paying a bill or dropping cash by so they can pay the power bill or pay for their medications. It might be taking some flowers by their house or giving them a ride to an AA meeting. It might be asking if there is a problem or telling them you think there might be a problem.
Like I said this is a risk…
Remember that when others are in the grip of pain, part of their life has been ripped away. Your choice is whether you want to do all you can to fill that void.
Your job is to help them live their life…
Not their pain!
Yes, we all know about pain, but the day that we realize we hardly know anything about pain is the day we begin to make a difference. We begin to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. This is the day we become a better son, daughter, mother, father, aunt uncle, friend, neighbor, boss, worker, etc.
Make this the day you become a better human being. The kind of human being that lives the kind of life we were all meant to live.
I believe you can do this no matter what side of pain you are on. I believe you are much more powerful than you will ever know.
I believe that since you are reading this, you are the kind of person the world needs right now! You not only can make a difference, you will make a difference!
So, on behalf of the other 7.28 billion people on this planet, let me tell you how grateful I am for you, how thankful I am for what you are doing and will do. Thank you seems so insignificant, but it’s all I have…
So, thank you, thank you so much!