Most of us probably use throwaway phrases everyday, almost without even knowing it. Almost without caring.
Before we go any farther, I thought we’d better define our terms. In other words, what is a “Throwaway Phrase?” {Judging from the vast amount of money in the “Research and Development” budget… I Googled it.}
Here is their explanation…
“If you say that someone makes a throwaway remark or gesture, you mean that they make it in a casual way, although it may be important, or have some serious or humorous effect. … a throwaway remark may later be regretted.”
Sometimes a throwaway phrase happens in business such as when the “office know it all” gives us some useless advise and we respond with a quick wave of the hand and an “Uh huh…” You don’t really mean it that way, but it’s just the thing to say.
Sometimes a throwaway phrase can happen with people you hardly know. Maybe you bump into someone inadvertently and toss out a quick “Uh, sorry.” You don’t really mean it that way, but it’s just the thing to say.
But sadly, sometimes throwaway phrases happen closer to home with those we love. These are the throwaway phrases we need to make sure we we stop and never use again. How often have we thrown out a quick “Love ya” on the way out the door or we nod our head and throw out an occasional “Uh huh” as someone we care about is telling us about their day? You don’t really mean them that way, but it’s just the thing to say.
You’ll note that the definition also brought up gestures. Just as with words, we toss these throwaway gestures out the same way. When your other half or partner comes home after a long day, you sit there watching TV or playing video games, or reading and throw out a “hi” without even looking up? Maybe we have a single comment or whole conversation with our back turned to someone when we know if the tables were turned, we’d want to be facing each other . You don’t really mean them that way, but you’re just to busy, unaware, uncaring (Just insert whatever excuse seemsmto make you feel the best) to do anything differently.
Now these are only a few of the things that might happen all the time. Things gotten used to doing and we hardly pay attention to that, either force others to hope we care more than we’re showing or force them to imagine our words, actions and feelings actually mean.
So how can we change?
First, realize when we’re doing these things to others. Be aware you might be sending the wrong message and then realize when it when happens back to you out of the mouths of others.
Second, do your best for just one day (to start) pay special attention to everything you’re saying and doing. Everything. Can you go one complete day being completely aware of what you’re saying, how you’re saying it, to whom you’re saying it and when you say it?
Once you accomplish the verbal part of this, then do the the same for every gesture that day, or lack thereof. (You might want to do these on separate days)
Three, see how you did. Playback the day and see how many others you “caught” dismissing you with a throwaway phrase or gesture. How many times did you catch yourself doing it to them?
Finally, expand it out. Once your happy with your one day experiment, expand it to 2 days of awareness, then 3 and so on… After a short amount of time I think you’ll notice that there’s more eye contact, more understanding, more honesty happening in your life. You’ll probably also notice the number of times you hear “I love you” instead of “love ya” both coming from you and back to you increases a lot, at least that’s what happened in my life.
Peace
…..Gregg
(NOTE—In the audio version of this One Minute Blog posted on my substack platform, among other things, I’ll talk a bit more about many of the points I’ve made here.
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…..Gregg)