There is a phenomenon sweeping the country and it’s not good. I call it the “YEA, BUT…” Phenomenon. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, I truly hope that you haven’t participated in it though.
It seems that with every comment, decision or event that we don’t agree with, now it’s OK to simply say “Yea, but…” and deflect the attention somewhere else.
At work if you made a mistake, out comes the “Yea, but I saw Charlie do the same thing yesterday” line.
If Trump does or says something bad, out comes the “Yea, but Obama and Hillary” lines and the other examples can go on and on.
Gone are the days it seems where we actually take responsibility for our mistakes. Gone are the days it seems where those sports stars or politicians that we admire or respect make mistakes or do or say something stupid and we stand up and actually disagree with them. Gone are the days it seems where we can actually disagree with someone’s position without seeing them as an adversary. Gone are the days it seems where instead of saying “Yea, but…,” we put some thought and action into correcting the situation.
Gone are the days….or are they!?!
What can we do to begin to do the right things again? Well, let’s start right there…
•START DOING THE RIGHT THINGS AGAIN! They might not be the convenient things or the easy things, but deep down you know what’s right and wrong. Start listening again.
•When you hear yourself start to tear down someone else or something else, STOP! Stop yourself in mid sentence if you need to and instead of tearing someone else down, explain why your position is right. Explain the value of your side without tearing down the other. (My Dad always told me that if I couldn’t do this, then I probably didn’t have a very good point.)
•Take care of the “YEA” before you even think about the “BUT.” In other words, admit that there is a problem and find a way to make it better. What can be done? What can YOU do? After you’ve made it though this stage, you’ll generally find that there is no need to blame others or shift the focus anymore.
•RESPECT!!! It seems like we’re forgetting this very, very important piece of the puzzle. It’s hard to lie, cheat, accuse or deflect if you remember to respect, first!
•If you hear yourself hurling insults or calling someone names, then your no doing what you should be. Stop. Apologize. Then explain your position and listen to theirs.
•With every decision, remember these very simple ingredients…
Do The Right Thing…
Ask How You Would Feel If You Were On The Other Side…
I understand that it’s frustrating when we’re doing the right things but others around us aren’t. Keep in mind that you can only control you. You are responsible for what you put out into the universe and can’t control what others think, say or do, that part is up to them.
So, pay attention to those in life who seem to rely on deflecting the truth and embracing the “Yea, but…” Phenomenon. Walk away from them. Pay more attention to those in life who seem to be doing the right thing. The more positives you begin surrounding yourself with, the more you’ll find that being the person you were meant to be has nothing to do with “Yea, but…”